Today, it dawned on me that I am officially done with online dating. I stood up my date this afternoon. We had planned to go for a walk to a local lake and it occurred to me that I would rather enjoy the walk on my own than go with a random guy that I might not get along with. He seemed interesting and he’s tall (6″4″), but I’ve realized that I just don’t want to meet random men for dates anymore.
I feel awful and I was sure to message him before the time, but he was obviously not impressed that I cancelled. He actually made a mark on me, because so many guys will ask me to reschedule or they’ll coddle me with their words. But the guy today actually called me on my shit and I respect him for that. He told me that I need to be aware of the impact that I have on others. It was so simple, but it rattled me. Even if I feel nervous or depressed one day, I don’t want that to affect someone else who was really looking forward to meeting me. Yet, I don’t stand up my friends. So I realized that what I need is some more friends, not Tinder contacts.
I want to meet people through what I deem to be a healthier means of socializing. I understand and I do not judge those who want to meet people through online dating, but there’s just something about the organic development of a relationship that begins from simply living your life.
Now, I realize that by going to and from work everyday and only meeting up with my established friends are not great ways to meet new guys. It is almost summer and there are LOADS of social activities aimed at young people to take part in. I’m going to expand my social circle (By expand, I mean attend a meetup group or two).
I am growing tired of that awkward feeling you get before meeting a total stranger for the first time on a date. I’d rather develop a friendship with a few people and if something romantic starts, then by that point we would already be comfortable with one another and the whole going a date thing would feel exciting and nice!
There are meetup groups of writers, social activists, vegans, film lovers, artists, EDM lovers, philosphical thinkers, etc. so I’ve got a few different options to meet a nice spectrum of personalities.
I’ve signed up for a few activities through Meetups.com and I’m excited to make some new friends, and obviously, some nice, interesting guys. I’m not desperate or in a rush to have a boyfriend by any means, but I’ve been single and independent for a few years now and if I met someone interesting, fun, and cool then why not share a part of my life with them?
So, here it is: Out with the online dating and on to the social meet up groups!